The Butt of the Joke

The other morning, I asked for some hand cream, manish variety of course. Well Wendy supplied me with some and it was quite nice. It was not until later, that I found the original plan was to supply me with this:

Yes, I was supposed to try Udderly Smooth Udder Cream. As the name suggests, this cream is targeted for cow udders...not man hands. First of all, anything that has directions that start:

Wash udder and teat parts througly with clean water and soap...

and ends with:

Apply uniformly to chafed area and bruises to maintain skin suppleness

is not what I need to help my dry hands.